We planned a home birth and I wanted to have the best environment possible welcoming our littlest into the world. In the book, each week highlights something special in getting in tuned with your body and baby. The retreat and training, however, was great in creating a shared environment and holding space for some of the tasks in creating a sacred pregnancy. I came away feeling really connected with my baby and confident in what my body was capable of.
A few days before he was born, I thought, "this is it." The surges were pretty regular, fairly close together, and only slightly uncomfortable (that was my word, I refused to be "in pain"). So I called my midwife, and she came over. We hung out a bit, she did her basic vitals checks, and I actually asked her to check my cervix (simply to satisfy my curiosity) and I was at "almost 5cm". What did that mean? Well, nothing really, just a number I put in the back of my mind. Then things slowed down and the discomfort went away. And instead of thinking about moving things along, I opted for sleep. Nothing changed, so my midwife went home, and we all went to bed.
Next day, nothing. Well, I did have some back pain and chose to see a chiropractor for an adjustment (I don't like pain, lol). I felt great after that adjustment, went for a walk around the park with a friend, put a couple more freezer dinners together. And just kept my midwife updated on how I was feeling.
Thursday morning around 5 am, woke up feeling uncomfortable (there's that word again). Texted my midwife around 7-ish to let her know and said I'd just time things for a while and keep her updated via text. Hubby was getting ready for work at that time, and the weather was pretty bad so he was getting a head start out. I wasn't as uncomfortable as the first day, but I told him I had a feeling I'd need him back home in a couple hours. I kept my older son home from school that day.
I stayed in bed as long as I could but couldn't go back to sleep. Eventually, I got up and let the dogs out for a bit. Then I sat to have breakfast with my son. And then things got really UNCOMFORTABLE, more than the first day. Just after 9 am, I called my husband to tell him I really needed him to come back home. Due to traffic he had literally just arrived at work, just to turn around again. I called my midwife, and luckily she was already taking her kids to daycare and school and would be headed over to me after.
Everything just sped up from there. I couldn't focus on eating anymore. I called and talked (or tried to talk) to my midwife for a bit. Everyone was on their way, and I was doing ok coping on my own. Breathing and walking and trying to just go with the surges, and relaxing in between. At about 9:30 I texted everyone to let them know I was really uncomfortable and would attempt to shower for a bit. I had my son unlock the front door for whenever my midwife arrived.
15 minutes later I got out of the shower and felt baby drop even lower into my pelvis. I felt so in tune with my body, but I was slightly freaked out that NO ONE was here yet. I called, apparently everyone was caught up in traffic - hubby caught behind an accident, and the midwife just caught in slow moving traffic (darn snowy days!). I just couldn't stand up anymore, so I sat on the closest seat available - the toilet! I think I decided in that moment, if we needed to, baby and I would just do what we needed to do. I called my midwife again and needed her to stay on the phone with me. I felt my first moments of fear, that no one would arrive in time, and a sort of irrational fear of getting OFF the toilet. I was on the phone with my midwife for nearly 10 minutes, we hung up when she was just around the corner. Before we hung up, she did ask if I felt the urge to push and at that moment the answer was no.
I remember seeing the time on my cellphone said it was just a few minutes before 10 am. I heard my midwife open the front door and she called out to me. I called her up to our en-suite bathroom. I felt so much relief at that moment just knowing someone was there. The moment she stepped to the doorway, she asked again if I felt the need to push. As soon as I said no, I had to change my answer. Keep in mind, this happened all in a matter of minutes. I remember her asking my son to get some towels, which he grabbed hand towels at first but was able to get bigger bath towels pretty quickly. I remember asking her to help me move closer to the floor, more of a full squat. And next thing I know she's helping me pull him up to my chest. She said the time was 10:01 am. My baby boy and I did it, at home where I felt most comfortable.
It may not have been exactly what I envisioned, but like I said before, it was perfect for us. The people that mattered most were supportive even from a distance. And I had the spiritual support of my sacred "sisters" as well. Although my husband missed the actual birth (he arrived about 15 minutes later), he supported me and took care of me throughout the pregnancy. My pregnancy and birth were definitely SACRED.
Sacred Pregnancy and the movement came into my life at the perfect time. You can read all about Anni's mission and message here... I just want to say it was great learning first hand from Anni and experiencing a sacred pregnancy this time around. I feel it strongly contributed to me having a great homebirth. Now, I am very much honored to hold space and provide these classes to other women.
And now I'm even more excited to continue on after the pregnancy and birth journeys to offer postpartum "mother roasting" services soon!
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